After reflecting on my 2022 reads, going through photographs and remembering moments (yes, I love a little nostalgia here and there), I noticed that there is a part of my life that is always present, and when it’s not – it comes back. Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to art!
While writing about art seems like an attracting, at the same time horrible idea (a bit better than writing about writing though), I have came to realise that art (in this context specifically – painting/visual art) is connected to what writing is and feels to me.
Art is an expression.
For me, writing is an expression too (so it’s art!), and any art that I have ever created in some way includes writing (a caption, words in the picture, explanation). Therefore, I could say writing and painting for me are interconnected.
Words transform into colours, and then paintings tell stories.
I do remember that there was a time when those 2 were in conflict – like should I write or paint? Should I even create at all?
Less I create, more the emptiness grows within me…
More I create – more I express what’s within.
And even when emptiness grows within – it needs to be expressed as well.
Art is not always happy, oh it does not have to be. But for me – Art is what makes me happy. Inspired, thoughtful and feelingful (I am not sure if this is a legit word).
Creating and appreciating any form of art that others bring to us, is beautiful too. Connecting with that expression.
Art is connection.
And in 2022 (when connection was a big theme), Art indeed connected me to moments, emotions and happenings through the year.
Below I grouped the work in seasons, and added some explanations around the work.
While the purpose of sharing this here and now is still unknown, I will only guess:
- I want this to be a reminder that I AM CREATING, even if I feel like I am not or that I could do more or better. I am creating and I will keep creating.
- I need to express about these expressions too. Only via writing I can reflect fully. I guess at least I could try.
1. Winter to Spring: The Dove of Our Peace
While it is the smallest painting I made, it is also the biggest – the fullest of feelings – and also the first of the year. Not the happiest. It was early March (I tend to internally start my year around spring), a week of a new reality – a War closer than it has ever been. I remember I brought yellow tulips home, everything still felt heavy and the only way to feel lighter about it was to paint peace. The Dove of Peace, the one Picasso used to paint, the one that actually I love so much… One that could potentially fly over to heal our world. Heal the anger, the rage, the terrorism.
It’s almost a year around since the War in Ukraine. I still light up candles and look at this painting from time to time, and I think about the dove that will soon, hopefully soon reach the people who need to heal, and we will see the light, not through the tears of fear, but the tears of love, and liberation. I don’t understand war. I really don’t. It’s painful even to not understand.
Colours: Blue and yellow
Technique: Strokes of injustice, hopes on canvas
2. Spring to Summer: Lighter and Happier
The Easter Egg of Self-esteem
Happiness Connections
Connections to Elements
I usually get happier in spring. But not instantly. It can take some time, and this time it was somewhere between April and May when things got a little better and lighter. Then The Easter Egg of Self-esteem was born (first picture). I am guessing there is some Dalí influence too!
These 3 little digital paintings were important reminders to me about self-care, mindfulness, my values, boundaries and Connection (one of my values). By connecting to my true self, remembering about Happiness Connections (second picture) and also appreciating much more the wonderful elements of nature (third picture). I keep finding something new when looking at these creations. I know that the awakening that happens at this time of the year is truly powerful. And it also depends a lot on us – are we able to open up?
Colours: Pastels
Technique: Letting go, with sunshine, wind and the sea.
Colours: Univers(al) & flashy
Technique: Act as you know how to cubism
Amusing Cubism
This painting was a result of a Cubism Paint&Wine type of event. I went as I thought it might be the only time in my life I will paint cubism, and I had no idea how to do that. So I had fun!
This painting did not have a name so I just named it “Amusing Cubism”, nothing serious on this one… but there is little backstory.
We were supposed to draw landscapes with trees but I wanted this to be more cosmic. So I added some stars and some eclectic shapes. The more I look at it the more I see a wheel from a dream I had once, that wheel on top of the Tibidabo Amusement park, the colourful one. The wheel of life would be too deep for this cubism attempt of mine. So I think we can all see here what we want to see!
3. The Summer: 3 memories
I truly enjoyed summer, I traveled, I felt free! It also means that I did not have time to paint & create too much. Almost not at all. However it was the time to collect some inspiration. So as soon as all the vivid experiences finished, I sat down and I painted. I had 3 canvas, so I dedicated them to 3 summer memories. Easy as that. I actually still feel that energy I had just remembering all the adventures! These are the highlights I want to keep in my mind and heart like pictures.
View to Vesuvius / Trip to Amalfi Coast
Colours: Bright as the memories
Technique: All or nothing, and everything
I love Italy and it had been a while without it. Also it was the first time visiting the area of Naples & Amalfi coast. Above it all, I was crazy excited about seeing a Volcano. After two attempts I actually saw it… but that is not entirely true – I did see this Vulcano, charming Vesuvius from our hotel view every morning and evening. I loved it. I could stare at it forever, therefore I thought I better paint it, so I can really see it every time I want.
Some of the most beautiful sunsets were spent here, accompanied with juicy pasta, cheesy focaccia and aperol-limoncello-everything-spritz.. la dolce vita!
Dive into the Blue Eye, Albania
This is another magical experience of summer 2022. I still can’t believe I swam in 10-degree water and I actually enjoyed it.
It was a beautiful hidden water spring and no media can actually capture that breathtaking depth of it.
I was pretty convinced it is a portal that will take me who-knows-where but it was almost impossible to actually swim in, as the stream was taking me away, again and again.
I remember blue dragonflies flying around, and if I stayed for longer I am sure I would turn blue too. (like Avatar-blue)
Colours: Mostly blue
Technique: Deep dive into unknown
Family Home, Norway
Colours: Warm
Technique: Together
Norway was a little bit harder one to capture. With all its beauty it should not be… but my main takeaways this time were not the landscapes, it was something else.
It was the warm feeling of home, not at home. Suddenly I realised that this is not a painting for me, it is for the family. For my sister and her family, in the home where they’ve moved, in the home where we came and spent some time together.
A lovely house by the lake, with a little yard, terrace, silence, and trains passing by that leave you to Oslo, a city that makes you feel comfortable (except for its prices).
There was a lot of peacefulness and homeyness feeling in this trip. And this is exactly what I wanted to bring back, remember, paint, and bring back to them again.
(It’s still on the way to Norway, and by the time you are reading this, I hope it’s there!)
4. The Fall into Soultober
In October I found a great way back to Art – a movement, reflective art journey called “Soultober” which guided me through different themes in which I could express myself in any form and way. I mostly did it through painting and writing, but not only. Here is where indeed painting came together with writing, so I will attach the captions too.
Colours: The ones that seemed to fit right
Technique: Intuitive
Transformation & Transition
If I go to the moon and back.
What then?
What would change?
The change will pass too
There is no transformation if you can’t be yourself.
It’s a transition and I feel it
The Moon shines as a reminder that there are greater things than us but we can only see them
If we see ourselves not as parts of something
But as whole hearts.
Darkness
I woke up with a dark mood today and wrote these lines.
Dark is the darkest
When it’s in our mood,
In our thoughts, perceptions, choices and actions.
When we come from a dark place
We know no light, no hope
However, when we heal from the darkness
We carry a light within us
That reminds us that we are worthy of light (love)
Even on the dark days.
Inner Critic
Oh, inner critic, i am so familiar with you. With all the masks you wear. I know you live for judging but you are there for a reason – to protect me from failure, unknown and my fears.
You actually somehow have good intentions. But my intentions to be brave matter more.
When the inner critics are screaming and messing up your mind… listen more carefully to the heart that whispers that you are enough, you are loved, you can do it, you rock! Speak with yourself from the place of love and courage.
Letting in – Letting go
I’ve been going around these words for the last couple of days and, honestly, for much longer… and they’ve been circulating around me as well… Like a mantra during a yoga practice. Inhale-exhale.
Like a mental reevaluation of life, a sparkle inviting me to try new things but at the same time – holding me back to stick with the old patterns.
It has been so much, so so much of letting in and letting go this October internally. It’s a part of the transition and transformation that we talked about at the beginning, I assume..
Letting in – letting go, letting go – letting in. Flow. There is no separation. There is only continuation…. And while it’s hard to make sense out of it, I will let the colours speak.
Colours: Happy and floating
Technique: Watercolouring
Water-Pumpkins!
Okay, it might be that it felt much darker – those soul-art games of fall. It was actually a great month, it was sweet before the real darkness.
And there were lots of truly joyful moments. Like these pumpkins. It also was a part of a painting event when I made them. At first, I would not think to put them here, as I still feel it’s my super-first-very-humble-watercolour-attempt, but therefore it’s special + it has a story!
A friend of mine, Monika, really liked them and asked if I could give them away. I was not feeling it’s right to sell this, so we decided to exchange Christmas gifts. Now these pumpkins are happily living in Monika’s home, and I guess I can take away 2 things:
1. It’s beautiful to give art to others, and feel appreciation and love for art.
2. I might REALLY give watercolours some more attempts.
5. Fall to Winter: The continuation...
And again it got tougher in November and December. Even if the year has ended, I can’t help myself… winter has something so heavy within. And still, the art survives. Or it keeps us alive.
Colours: So the eye hurts a bit
Technique: Letting out all that’s left
Life’s ups and downs / November
Here are the contrasts of emotions and our reactions to the challenges of life. And the opportunity to shift the perspective of not-that-happy experiences too.
Peaks and valleys. Tears and laughter. November is intense, so is life. And when we look at it this way – hey, it’s actually a rollercoaster full of learnings!
The most X time / December
For many Christmas and end-of-the-year days instead of wonderful can also feel heavy, stressful, rushed, and difficult… and whatever is being present.
Let’s embrace all the feelings, all the times of the year. But hope and aim for the better ones.
***
I’m somehow continuing, and maybe you could identify yourself with some of this too… So I just wanted to remind you to put yourself first in this journey and take good care of yourself.
I think this is what my art speaks of lately. If I don’t care for myself, I won’t have any art at all, nothing really meaningful or real to share.
And I believe it does not come just to art, it comes to life. We need to have that spark for what we do, create, how we live, and who we are.
I reached moments when I felt I don’t have that spark. In those moments art was the way to communicate it and have that spark at least for a moment.
I think I will stop here. Yes, it got deeper and more personal. Art is personal at the end of the day but it can also be universal, as we are not alone in our struggles, feelings, and perspectives.
More we share this, more I believe we connect and truly express.
So I guess maybe I found the purpose of sharing this.
