1. Make sure self-care is your priority
I am sure you are somehow taking care of yourself because you are alive. As you are reading this, most probably you have tried to take the best possible care you could until today.
Let me tell you – even if we all know that self-care is important, we struggle with it. Why? There are couple of reasons that can be rooted in how individuals or society see self-care and what beliefs you have developed about it.
Here are some:
- You believe self-care to some extent is selfish or less important than other things / other people
- Even though you know self-care is important, you tend to skip it
- You have a general tendency to be restless (you need self-care habits!)
If you recognized one or several of these patterns, you need to set an intention first. The intention to change the way you look at self-care. If you feel that it is hard prioritizing yourself over others, think about it this way – only taken a good care of yourself you will be able to take a better care of others.
If you skip self-care but still think it is important to you – it is time to actually prioritize it, find time for it and commit to self-care as a journey, not as an occasional stop. Same comes to being restless – it means you need to plan self-care and remind yourself of its importance.
Try to answer yourself – why self-care is important to you and what positive effect it can bring to your life as a whole? What else would improve or change?
If you have your answer we can continue from here.
2. Know your self-care set
When you make self-care your priority and get aware of how it impacts any other aspect of your life (this can really come with time, experimenting and experiencing lack of it) you are ready to commit and create.
I could share with you what is my self-care set and it could happen that it has nothing to do with what self-care is for you. Boom! Nobody except you knows what you need. So it’s time for some honest self-reflection.
Create your self-care set that consists of activities/rituals/things/happenings/call it whatever – that is self-care to you. Here are some questions that might help you to create one.
- What makes your mind calm / peaceful / relaxed ?
- What makes you feel joyful / happy?
- What can you do for your physical health? What feels good and is good (healthy) for you at the same time?
- What makes you feel more lifted, inspired, connected to yourself / the world?
- How much time do you need/want to be alone? How would you spend this time?
- What are your hobbies / passions?
- What is your sweet escape – what do you do when you need to recharge?
- What is your perfect break?
- What would you do if there was nothing to do? (no agenda)
- Is there anything else missing so you can feel good, loved and truly taken care of?
3. Make it real - add some self-care to your day
Now we are talking! This step is the one that will allow you to actually plan your self-care activities from your set into your life. This works for both long-term (planning vacations, for example), shorter term (weekly exercise, meditation time or day for yourself) and on a habit-level (morning coffee with a magazine, breaks, evening read etc).
Please, please, please – plan your self-care time. If not, it can easily drop out of the priority list when life happens.
Another tip – don’t go crazy about it and be realistic. Start with simple steps and add activities one by one. The last thing you want to do is to stress out about your self-care activities. It is all about balance. A good start is to create the space you need for the self-time, plan the activity in and reflect afterwards how did it go. It is ok to experiment with what works better for you.
It can also happen that you will need to involve or ask help to other people to prioritize your self-care. Maybe that will mean asking your partner / parents / friends to take care of kids or other duties while you prioritize yourself. It might mean to finish working day earlier or go to bed earlier (which can be a self-care act itself) in order to have more time for self-care. You will see that life will need to shift a little. And if you will do these shifts, it really means that self-care truly matters to you.
Bonus: Trust your inner voice
Even though sticking to a plan is important I want to highlight one more thing: listen to yourself. By prioritizing self-care you will notice that your body gives you hints. It tells you when you need that stretch or calm day, or warm blanket with your favourite book. Listen to your little self-care voice inside! Acknowledge that you know what you need if you truly listen.
And to wrap this up, I just want to give you some ideas that have worked for me in the past. For inspiration.
Self-care day – reserve one day a week (for example, Sunday) when you will focus on self-care. You can call it Self-care Sunday.
Accountability – find a partner in self-care you can share your achievements with.
Act if it was a task – add self-time to your calendar like it was a task/meeting/event. Make it important in your agenda.
Date with yourself – ask yourself out for a date and do any activity you enjoy. Go to a park, museum, do a painting or cooking class for self. Make it special.
I hope this was a nice reminder on self-care and I truly wish you to make it a priority and succeed in creating a sustainable and authentic self-care routine.
