I am sure you have your own interpretation of what happiness is. However, I want to share with you an interesting concept I heard in an online conference about well-being. It talks about 2 types of happiness from ancient Greek – hedonia (pleasure) and eudaimonia (fulfilment). Personally, I like to call them joy and fulfilment. So let’s look at those 2 closer and see what role do they play in our daily and overall happiness.
Hedonia - pleasure, joy and feeling good!
When we think about happiness, we probably think of something nice – feeling good and experiencing positive emotions. Excitement! A carousel of joyful emotions. Feeling comfortable, satisfied, confident. It’s the opposite of feeling down, bad and experiencing any kind of suffering. Pure pleasure! That’s hedonia. Could you imagine it? What came up?
There are many sources to feel pleasure and joy from but in many cases they are external to us. Think of it as a good concert, your favourite dessert or a new vehicle. We can call it wealth gained from the world. And it does make us feel good.
However, there is a difference between things and experiences that make us happy. Experience can become a great memory and add to us as human beings (for example, traveling). But when this experience stays in the past, it can still create a strong feeling of lack and craving for more. To go to more places, try more food… these kind of pleasures make us dependent on something and even create pressure on getting more and more of this happiness.
No worries, there is a way to enjoy the happy moments in a smart way. It means to, firstly, be truly present with them and, secondly, not be falling into “I want more” trap and appreciate what good is already here and now.
These happy moments can matter a lot in our lives and experiencing good emotions frequently is necessary. At the same time, it is important to understand that as easy joy and pleasure comes – it also goes, meaning, it’s not long-lasting. And there is much more in life than just feeling happy feelings. So be smart about what pleasures you choose too.
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So how can we know if the pleasures and joys we choose are actually good for us?
We can feel pleasure from tasty but unhealthy food, we can feel pleasure from a fruit. We can feel pleasure from buying an expensive branded bag and we can also feel pleasure from picking up flowers in the forest. If we want to take better decisions regarding our sources of joy, here are some questions to ask to keep your pleasures healthy and balanced:
- Ecology – are they good for you and the world? (f.e. fast fashion)
- Is it a healthy habit or an addiction? (f.e. social media srolling)
- Is the feeling worth the resources invested? Does it add up to your life?
- Is there another alternative that will bring a similar result?
- Is this pleasure actually making you happy? Meaning, coming authentically from your needs (or is it others influence?)
Eudaimonia - is this THE happiness?
Now let’s look at the other word. I like to call it fulfilment – realization, a state of feeling accomplished. Honestly, it is hard to describe this feeling as it may differ for each person. And it is not that easy to get to this state quickly as it is with joy.
For me, when fulfilled I do feel a strong connection with something bigger – a contribution, cultivation of positive impact in others. It gives me energy and it feels very different from joy, even though the joy can also be present. It gives a positive meaning to my life.
One major difference could be that feeling fulfilled is not just about ourselves, it is about others. For example, the power of giving vs receiving. Probably you have experienced both and both feel good but in different ways. Being able to help someone, bringing an impact awakens a sparkle in us. In opposite to pleasure, fulfilment is sustainable – it grows with time and within ourselves if cultivated. It’s more of a process and needs time. Think of it as an achievement you worked hard for and it was worth it. Probably you experienced a mix of feelings on the way (not only happy ones) but the end result touched your heart in a very deep way. Maybe it even changed you. That’s fulfilment.
Strive for fulfilment with joy
Now you are probably thinking – fulfilment feels more important than feeling pleasure. In a way it does but let’s not separate them. I want you to try to make them work together.
They are complimentary parts of happiness. To reach fulfilment in life, it is important to feel joyful moments – celebrate the little wins, reward ourselves with care and maintain a positive view towards life, as fulfilment is created over time. At the end of the day, fulfilment can bring lot’s of pleasure and doing joyful things can also lead to a fulfilling life. Yes yes yes – balance is the key again. Same as exploration of ourselves, our needs and desires.
Let’s do an example. Imagine that you feel pleasure when eating blueberry muffins – you love them! But eating them too much might not be the best thing for you. Imagine you want to bring your joy to the next level and you actually learn to make them yourself – and you feel pretty good about yourself.
Then, you decide to bake muffins for your friends and surprise them by bringing them one day. You see pure joy in others and it makes you feel great about all you did. A to Z. Even though you failed couple of times in the process. Here the fulfilment starts. You shared. Maybe, one day you will even share your recipe with your children or grandchildren or hold a masterclass in baking. This is how far it can go. Suddenly a pleasure of eating a muffin escalated.
I hope this article made you think of happiness in some new way. Or maybe now you want muffins! Ah, apologies for that but hey – the opportunity is here.
Remember about balance.
Cheers!
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